i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
