I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
