I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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