imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
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It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
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I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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