This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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