You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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