I'm really into asian looking animals
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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