Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize