those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
