If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
