sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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