i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I have tasted many bathrooms
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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