ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
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It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize