im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
