I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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