So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
