Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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