Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
