I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The best revenge is premature balding
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
