Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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