What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
