You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Randomize