just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
