He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
