somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
