The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
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It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
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Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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