we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
