Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
