also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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