You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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