dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Congratulations! We have a period
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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