We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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