dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
