Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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