What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize