I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
