I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
