So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
