Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you inspire me to be a worse person
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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