Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize