so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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