don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
