mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
