I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
