the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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