1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
