i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
