i just wanna soil my oats bro
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
