genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize