Just fell off a train. Bad.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
