I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
