My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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