UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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