I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
