did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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