She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
