talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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