I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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