good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
