Quick, to the slutcave!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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